Hello, I am Baxter the Cat. Here you see me lying on the Dog's bed. (I hope this angle doesn't make my butt look too big. I'm very particular about having my picture taken.)
I live in a house with two Humans and a Dog. I will not dignify the Dog with a name, although the Humans seem to call her "Diva." She is the second dog I have lived with, and I must say I don't find her an improvement over the first one. The previous one chased me but I used to get back at her by hiding behind a door and smacking her on the rear end when she walked by. She wasn't quite as rambunctious as this one. This one is very noisy and barks loudly at me sometimes. I have to growl and sometimes I hiss in order to put her in her place. I always like getting the upper hand by being up high and then sometimes I can smack her on the nose.
I didn't always live here. I was found as a kitten by a nice person about two blocks away, but when they brought me into their house, I found to my horror they had 17 other cats living there! It was no place for someone like me. I like my privacy, and I expect to get all the adulation of the Humans in the household. I don't like to share my companionship with so many.
So after awhile they brought me to a nice place called The Homeless Animal Adoption League, or HAAL, which specializes in finding homes for cats and kittens. They had me what they call "fixed" - I'm not sure what was fixed, since there was nothing wrong with me in the first place. Then after I was there for awhile, this couple came in and started checking me out. They came in several times and I kept rolling on my back and flirting with them, because I know this works really well on Humans. Finally they decided to take me home, even though I wasn't a girl. Apparently for some reason they wanted a girl because their previous cat had been a girl.
Naturally once I got to this house I had to hide under the bed for a couple of days, especially when I found out they had a Dog living there. I'd come out from under the bed, stalk into the hallway carefully, see the dog, puff up all over, and run back under the bed. But I got used to the idea eventuallly and all was well.
My Female Human says I'm shy and that's why I don't come out that much when strange people are in the house. Actually it's because I am so far superior to them, I don't deign to interact with them.
However, if people come to the house often I do decide to grace them with my presence from time to time. Especially the one who comes to take care of me when my Humans are away on what they call a "vacation." After all, if she is the only companionship I get for a week or so, even I have to make the most of it. And I guess it's the least I can do when she goes to all that trouble to come over and scoop my box.
You'll notice I don't call my Humans "Mommy" and "Daddy" as the Dog does. They try to tell me to call them that but after all, Humans and cats are equals and we are all adults, so why should I call them such a juvenile title? "Humans" isn't a derogatory term, it merely describes what they are.
Although many people think cats just lie around all day, I actually do a lot of work around here. When my Female Human changes the sheets on the bed, I have to help. I immediately jump up on the bed and lie on the sheets so that she needs to pull them out from under me to strip the bed. Then when she puts on the new sheets, I need to be under them so she can play with me by tickling the sheet so that I can pounce on her fingers. Then she has to put the sheet over my head until I get tired of it and jump off.
Another task I have is to help her or my Male Human when they are on the computer. It is my job to jump up in front of the screen so that they have to look at me, glorious me, rather than that stupid screen. I know they appreciate this a lot because they often pat me. Of course, they sometimes make me move over for some reason. I don't know why they would rather look at that stupid screen than me, but there is no accounting for Human tastes.
For awhile I was studying to be an accountant, and specialized in shredding documents, particularly bills. However, my Humans now bank on-line, so there aren't many bills lying around within reach anymore, and besides, with Sarbanes-Oxley and all, there is much less call for this type of skill. So I just specialize in sheets, laundry (lying on clean clothes in the basket) and computer blocking.
I do sleep on the bed with my Humans most nights, once the Dog has fallen sound asleep. For some reason at that point she becomes helpless and no longer able to chase me. So we share the bed very nicely for much of the night.
I never go outside. I know some cats go outside but then things happen to them; they can get sick or hurt or run over. So my Humans don't let me out. I have no desire to go out anyway - if the door opens I run in the other direction. Why should I want to go out when I have everything I need here?
Being highly intelligent, I have a lot of opinions on things and my Female Human says that in the future she will let me post on this thing she calls the "blog" from time to time and express my opinions. I look forward to sharing them with you, as I know you will benefit from my vast wisdom.
Thank you for your attention. It's time for my nap now so I will sign off. We cats need to nap a lot. It's good for our stress levels. Humans should do more of it.