Tuesday, October 05, 2010

A Bit of Good Timing and a Final Farewell

We spent last week at Cape Cod. Yes, that was the week that the entire Northeast was getting pummeled by the remnants of Tropical Storm Nicole. Home in New Jersey, the rain was unending and torrential, from what I understand. But guess what? It didn't hit the Cape.

We were really lucky - our weather was warm and summerlike nearly every day. It rained lightly at night a couple of times but cleared off by morning. We did have one foggy gray day, but it didn't rain. Friday of the week we were there, it did rain - but not until the afternoon, after we'd already been to the beach and Diva had had her swim in the pond. So we really chose the right week to get out of town.

Below is Diva enjoying the beach.

The main purpose in going to the Cape for the second time this year was to bring some of my mother's ashes and scatter them at the Cape where she spent time almost every summer since she was a little girl. We had also paid to have a bench installed with a plaque in memory of my mother and father in the little park surrounding the Eastham Windmill, so we wanted to see that as well.

My half-sister and brother-in-law came up for several days to join us, as they had not been able to attend my mother's memorial service and wanted to be there for this second event.

We brought some of the ashes down to the bay and I scratched them into the sand and let the water wash over them. My sister said a few words that brought tears to my eyes, and we stood there for awhile looking out at the bay afterwards. It was a cool and windy day and there was no one on the beach but us.

Another day, we brought a few of the ashes over to the Windmill park and put them under the bench as a little dedication. I have no idea if this is legal or not but we only used a small symbolic amount. Here are my sister and me, sitting on the bench:

And here is the view of the windmill from the bench.

I still have a lot of my mother's ashes left. I may take some to Scotland next time we go - it was my mother's other favorite place. I didn't realize what a large amount of ashes there would be - the other half are buried next to my father in the cemetery, so I thought there wouldn't be that much. I could scatter Mom in a number of other significant locations if I want to. Israel is another place that comes to mind; she loved her trip there back in 1990. While some people wouldn't like the idea of being scattered hither and yon, my mother, who loved to travel, would probably think it's a great idea.

One thing I won't be doing is embedding them in a tattoo or snorting them with cocaine a la Keith Richards.

We had a good time at the Cape, but of course, it reminded me of my mom all over again. But at least I'll always know there is a little bit of her that will forever be there with me.


KGMom said...

A bittersweet leave-taking indeed.
It is fitting that you had good weather.

giggles said...

May your mom rest in peace. Glad you had a nice trip.

I imagine I will take some of my Dad's ashes to Scotland as well when the time comes. It was also one of his favorite places....

Take good care. I wish loving memories of your mom, always.....

Sue said...

yes, a bittersweet post. Glad you had a nice time and you have some lovely memories from a very lovely place, Cape Cod...

Fran said...

Aww sweet! Your Momma gets to be in the places she loved.

We were discussing about how cremation is the ultimate *outside of the box* (literally) experience.
My husband's folks donated their bodies to science. One way to avoid the funeral industry rip off... and also perhaps help them solve some
medical mysteries.

Beautiful bench tribute!

Amanda said...

It sounds like a lovely weekend... bittersweetness included :)

LeftLeaningLady said...

A lovely memorial. I am so glad you had great weather!

nonnie9999 said...

so sweet.

okjimm said...

Nice. Sensible. I want my ashes planted under a tree. A red maple.

Best I could think of.... they said I can't be buried on the 50 yard line at Lambeau field.

PENolan said...

I love having some of my Granny's ashes with me all the time. My sister and cousins threw most of her to the wind on a ridge overlooking Lake Tahoe. She loved it there - but she also loved the trinket box where I've got about a half of cup of Granny.

Lots of love to you

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TomCat said...

Bittersweet was the first word in my mind as well. Mimi, I fully believe that your Mom watched your doings with a small tear and a big smile.

jmsjoin said...

That was and is sweet! You were here that's cool. I live here in the western hills but a sister lives in the cape. Your Mom is smiling I'm sure.

Mauigirl said...

Thanks for all your comments and support. I'm glad that part of my mom is still with me - and I do feel her presence a lot. I have no idea if there is an afterlife but like to think she's out there somwehere. Fran, I like your idea of donating one's body to science - a friend of mine has decided to do that. I'll have to look into it.