Today I called the vet with trepidation to find out whether Diva's biopsy results had come back, from the little bump she had taken off her front leg on Monday.
I always casually think, "Oh, I'll call them rather than wait until they call me, that way I'm mentally prepared." But despite the "preparation," or maybe because of it, I get that sinking feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach as I'm waiting to be connected to the doctor. It's the unknown - until you know the answer, you expect the worst. At least I do. I had my mind all scrunched up awaiting the blow to come: "I'm sorry to tell you but this new tumor is a Grade 2..." or heaven forbid, Grade 3. Or that they didn't get it all.
But instead, the doctor said cheerfully, "Good news. Diva's biopsy showed it was just a little cyst." Nothing to worry about. Amazing. It hadn't even occurred to me that the bump would not be some grade of mast cell tumor, with the history she had had. And it looked JUST like the other two that were mast cell tumors. But that is the weird thing about this type of tumor - they can look like anything.
So, it looks as if we don't have to give her any chemotherapy after all, at least not this time.
But I'll be keeping my eye out, staying vigilant, making sure no new bumps go unnoticed. As a hypochondriac, I catch things early, because outcomes are better that way. So I'm being a hypochondriac on behalf of my dog for the same reason.
Luckily, Diva is oblivious that anything is ever wrong in her little life. She loves going to the place where we have had these operations done; she wags her tail at everybody, and is ecstatic to greet the vet assistant who comes to take her away. Despite the fact that the last two times she's been brought there, she goes to sleep and wakes up with a nasty sore place somewhere on her body and feels crummy for a day or so, it doesn't stop her from loving to go see those people the next time.
Dogs are truly able to live in the now. We should all be so lucky as to have their "live for today" attitude.