tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post7129574839372746301..comments2024-03-20T05:19:35.526-04:00Comments on Mauigirl's Meanderings: "The Long Goodbye"Mauigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15529827915262851910noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-64859685602658671122022-07-10T00:22:13.042-04:002022-07-10T00:22:13.042-04:00navigate to these guys luxury replica bags inves... navigate to these guys <a href="https://www.dolabuy.co/wallets-c-157_158_201/best-louis-vuitton-copy-brazza-wallet-2022-aerogram-m81153m81026m81028-p-4625.html" rel="nofollow"><strong>luxury replica bags</strong></a> investigate this site <a href="https://www.dolabuy.co/horsebit-c-157_168_182/replica-gucci-horsebit-1955-mini-top-handle-beige-645453-bag-p-3518.html" rel="nofollow"><strong>Dolabuy Goyard</strong></a> weblink <a href="https://www.dolabuy.co/clutches-amp-small-purses-c-157_168_170/uk-gucci-womens-gg-web-stripe-wallet-409439-brown-canvas-p-1513.html" rel="nofollow"><strong>YSL Dolabuy</strong></a>shemmeedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05333569023484820863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-46538478003879430412022-06-13T18:01:43.757-04:002022-06-13T18:01:43.757-04:00blog Dolabuy Loewe click this over here now clic... blog <a href="https://www.dolabuy.ru/neonoe-c-157_158_163/louis-vuitton-luxury-monogram-canvas-and-leather-handbag-neonoe-m43569-p-965.html" rel="nofollow"><strong>Dolabuy Loewe</strong></a> click this over here now <a href="https://www.dolabuy.ru/ophidia-c-157_168_171/gucci-luxury-ophidia-gg-chain-bags-557695-p-1231.html" rel="nofollow"><strong>click here to find out more</strong></a> i thought about this <a href="https://www.dolabuy.ru/nano-c-157_158_275/aaaa-louis-vuitton-replica-nice-nano-monogram-m44936-brown-p-2665.html" rel="nofollow"><strong>websites</strong></a>tashanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16474464401466093348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-22490346268990264622022-05-18T22:46:39.018-04:002022-05-18T22:46:39.018-04:00dig this 7a replica bags wholesale Web Site repl... dig this <a href="https://www.dolabuy.ru/cc-wallets-c-157_190_196/replica-ap0941-wallets-black-handbags-online-p-3609.html" rel="nofollow"><strong>7a replica bags wholesale</strong></a> Web Site <a href="https://www.dolabuy.ru/nba-c-157_158_370/louis-vuitton-high-quality-replica-m58515-lvxnba-cloakroom-dopp-kit-travel-black-p-4132.html" rel="nofollow"><strong>replica designer bags</strong></a> right here <a href="https://www.dolabuy.ru/shoulder-c-157_306_307/saint-laurent-top-quality-becky-large-chain-multicolor-bag-p-3125.html" rel="nofollow"><strong>designer replica luggage</strong></a>moughezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05110640099340597230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-65592076990215200802008-04-29T23:29:00.000-04:002008-04-29T23:29:00.000-04:00Oh MG, I feel your pain. What a heart-rending dec...Oh MG, I feel your pain. What a heart-rending decision that so many of us must make.<BR/><BR/>Home care for my Mom through an agency 24/7 was roughly three times what a top of the line nursing home cost. I hired the best caretakers away from the agency, then lived in fear that one of them would wrench her back OTJ without worker's comp insurance as back-up.<BR/><BR/>When angel of a home caretaker had to call in sick once with ailing baby and once with emergency dental work, I knew that I could not supervise the crew at her home any longer. Saddest day of my life the day I put Mom in the NH.<BR/><BR/>The Hospice people told me in the name of full disclosure that the move might shorten her life. I actually think it lengthened her days as the increased stimulation of light, other people, more socializing perked her up for awhile.<BR/><BR/>She fell and dug a hole in her arm. The cellulitis didn't kill her. She caught cold from a staff member. That hastened the end, but finally she just decided that she'd had enough.<BR/><BR/>I feel so sad reading Kattie's story, and yours as well.denverdochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09574453567392165275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-26947351146560053182008-04-27T20:05:00.000-04:002008-04-27T20:05:00.000-04:00DCap, thanks for your comment and for sharing the ...DCap, thanks for your comment and for sharing the experiences of your family. It just goes to show how inadequate the care options are right now. All of these are tragedies; and to your point, those who tried to do their best are left feeling terrible guilt that they couldn't do more.Mauigirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15529827915262851910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-92093021669656919662008-04-26T11:52:00.000-04:002008-04-26T11:52:00.000-04:00mauithis is so upsetting on so many levels -- i kn...maui<BR/><BR/>this is so upsetting on so many levels -- i know what you must be going through and how hard this is for your entire family<BR/><BR/>what we do to the elderly and infirmed is criminal..... and the fact that the govt is spending billions on a useless immoral war while our own people die of alzheimers, aids, heart disease etc. is just unreal<BR/><BR/>my father watched his sister deteriorate beyond all hope (they lived across the street from each other) -- my uncle was in a wheel chair so he couldnt take care of his wife -- my mother and father had to feed, change and care for my aunt until they just couldnt do it anymore --- they would get calls from neighbors that she was walking the dog at 2am and 3am and 4am etc. My father took the dog away since it wasnt being care for. Then they would see her trying to put a leash on a duck thinking it was her dog. -- it was all so tragic<BR/><BR/>finally her non-mobile husband agreed to put her in assisted care near their son in California (they all live in Florida). I dont know how they got around the insurance/medicare thing -- but it didnt matter, within 3 months she died. the unfamiliar surroundings, the lack of attention from her family and worsening illness just did her in. my father to this day is consumed by guilt that he couldnt do more.<BR/><BR/>this is all so tragic.Distributorcaphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10149154929149577121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-81744858510042097832008-04-25T23:26:00.000-04:002008-04-25T23:26:00.000-04:00Future, it is so true. It has to be one of the wor...Future, it is so true. It has to be one of the worst diseases there is.<BR/><BR/>Dr. Zaius, thanks for your thoughts and condolences... One reason I wanted to talk about it is so others who may have to go through this will understand what it involves. If people realized sooner what they would be dealing with once a loved one starts to develop Alzheimer's, they might plan for the future better. My father-in-law might have been able to keep her home longer if he'd moved a few years ago to a more suitable dwelling.<BR/><BR/>Two crows, I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. Thank you for the advice about hospice - we will definitely ask about it. My mother-in-law doesn't have a medical directive but I did talk to the nursing home's doctor and she said we wouldn't have a problem refusing extraordinary care (e.g., a feeding tube). I didn't ask her about hospice care but the nursing home is having a "family night" next week where we go there and they talk about their services and you can ask questions so I'll ask about it then.Mauigirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15529827915262851910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-7049174733516291842008-04-25T18:59:00.000-04:002008-04-25T18:59:00.000-04:00I went through this with my mom, too.and, I agree,...I went through this with my mom, too.<BR/>and, I agree, it's impossible to know if putting her in a home is the 'right thing' but sometimes it's the only possible thing.<BR/><BR/>my thoughts are with you during this heart-wrenching time.<BR/>xxx<BR/>fwiw-- <BR/>I strongly recommend hospice care as soon as it can be arranged for your mother-in-law. they were a god-send for my mother [who died 3 weeks ago].<BR/><BR/>whenever she would have one of her 'spells' [low blood-pressure, sleep-apnea, etc.] the nursing home would call 911. [it had to by law until the hospice care was in place.]<BR/>then, she would be taken to the hospital, be totally mystified by the experience, start pulling tubes out of her body, etc. <BR/>the hospital didn't have the staff to sit with her-- so they put her in restraints and she panicked.<BR/><BR/>after hospice care was arranged, the hospice staff visited her regularly. when she had a 'spell' they would be called instead of 911. they would gently call her back. <BR/><BR/>finally, when she went beyond being called back, they sat with her and read to her. if they stopped, even for a moment, she would kick -- like a baby kicks. <BR/>I'm certain she knew they were there-- knew she was being cared for --as she moved further and further away.<BR/>I'm sure it made a huge difference in her transition.<BR/>xxx<BR/>again, my heart is with you as you and your family through this time.two crowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14289442473441279230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-70405858185769560962008-04-25T01:52:00.000-04:002008-04-25T01:52:00.000-04:00My condolences for what must be a very dificult si...My condolences for what must be a very dificult situation, and thank you for explaining the issues.Dr. Zaiushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16153875976834518896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-65329904359165373692008-04-23T22:01:00.000-04:002008-04-23T22:01:00.000-04:00Kattie, I'm glad you entered the blog world and th...Kattie, I'm glad you entered the blog world and that you found me! <BR/><BR/>Tomcat, thanks for your thoughts - so true, it does underline the need for a total overhaul of our health care system.Mauigirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15529827915262851910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-35549796564726553232008-04-23T15:02:00.000-04:002008-04-23T15:02:00.000-04:00Maui, first I'm so sorry you family has to deal wi...Maui, first I'm so sorry you family has to deal with this crisis. Is he making the right decision? Under the circumstances, I doubt that there is a "right decision" to be made. He is making the best decision he knows how.<BR/><BR/>This underlines our need for a universal, single-payer health care system, based on need, not greed.TomCathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11397335545286040472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-50503047386498274122008-04-23T01:38:00.000-04:002008-04-23T01:38:00.000-04:00Thank you Mauigirl. My heart goes out to you too....Thank you Mauigirl. My heart goes out to you too. I am glad I found your site. This is my first time blogging. I feel the whole world shoud know how mistreated my mother was. She was a precious Angel and I know she is still my Angel looking down apon me. It's just so hard thinging about the she died............Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-65193842060619305742008-04-22T22:43:00.000-04:002008-04-22T22:43:00.000-04:00Fran, thanks for your thoughts...there is no easy ...Fran, thanks for your thoughts...there is no easy answer. One part of me feels really guilty that DH or I don't just take a leave of absence from work to care for her, but then we wouldn't be able to save for our own rapidly approaching retirement years. (Since we weren't the thrifty savers his parents were!)<BR/><BR/>Spartacus, thanks for your comment also - and I'm glad your parents are with your brother. I am grateful also that my mom and aunt are right down the street from me, safely ensconced in their senior citizens apartment building, and that they, thankfully, seem to be holding up well mentally. <BR/><BR/>Larry and Christopher, you both make an excellent point - if this country wasn't wasting billions of dollars in Iraq they could afford to care for people like my mother-in-law. <BR/><BR/>Randal, what you say is so true. And other countries, that don't go around tooting their horns about their family values, have much better values when it comes to caring for their elderly citizens.<BR/><BR/>Dr. Monkey, thanks so much for your kind words.<BR/><BR/>Cosa Nostradamus, thanks, I'll try not to feel too guilty about the whole situation.<BR/><BR/>You're completely right, the Boomers are going to have a real problem if a cure isn't found by the time we all start getting to that age. I am hoping some new seismic shift, as you said, may happen in terms of how we will deal with it - hopefully not mass euthanasia, although to be honest I always did think that when my father reached a certain point of his dementia that it would have been kinder if we could have put him out of his misery. (Right now my mother-in-law is still enjoying many aspects of her life so I don't feel that yet about her.)<BR/><BR/>Your Mick Jagger ad really made me laugh out loud - great way to lighten things up a bit. I can see it now!<BR/><BR/>I really appreciate everyone's comments and thoughts. I wanted to write about this because our situation, which is just one of many across this country, points out the inequity in the system that punishes middle-class people, and how the Medicaid system is not set up to the benefit of the families or the patients. <BR/><BR/>We really need to reshape the system to better accommodate people's varied needs especially as the Boomers age and more and more will need this type of care.Mauigirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15529827915262851910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-2681293598614975352008-04-22T21:15:00.000-04:002008-04-22T21:15:00.000-04:00.Sorry for your trouble. Hope it somehow turns out....<BR/>Sorry for your trouble. Hope it somehow turns out OK. You seem to be doing the best you can under the circumstances. Don't beat yourself up. Some things we just can't do much about. Death, disease and old age being the big three.<BR/><BR/>Those anthro- and archaeology guys define civilization, and even humanity by how folks treat their dead, their dying, their sick their wounded, their disabled, their children, their elders. Let's hope they can't even find us under all the styrofoam and plastic bags.<BR/><BR/>Us boomers will really be up against it pretty soon. Deliberate hard living and spend-thriftery, combined with increased life expectancy and a big population boom followed by a big bust will push this beyond all previous crises, national or familial. <BR/><BR/>If we don't find a cure for Alzheimers, there will be millions of Boomers disabled by it. There will be no money and little will to care for us all. The controlling nature of Boomers may lead to some seismic medico-legal shift, or semi-underground movement toward mass euthanasia. Or, maybe just another trendy business opportunity.<BR/><BR/>Imagine the adverts: "Hi, I'm Mick Jagger for Youth-In-Asia. When I can't rock and roll any more, I'm boogying on down to my local Youth-In-Asia parlor and checking out in style. Seventeen ways to go, and all of them a blast! When the time comes, I'll see you there! Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name!" [hobbles off]<BR/>.Cosa Nostradamushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07025789936148098576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-65329260766834097702008-04-22T16:06:00.000-04:002008-04-22T16:06:00.000-04:00My heart goes out to him and to the both of you.My heart goes out to him and to the both of you.Dr. Monkey Von Monkersteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14370062692837972451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-55224122921333642022008-04-22T11:45:00.000-04:002008-04-22T11:45:00.000-04:00We pay lip service to family and the quality of li...We pay lip service to family and the quality of life in this country, but the system is set up to benefit everyone <EM>but</EM> the family and the quality of life.Randal Graveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08728992897551848531noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-75465204806822949552008-04-22T09:18:00.000-04:002008-04-22T09:18:00.000-04:00This is unimaginably tragic for everyone involved....This is unimaginably tragic for everyone involved. There are no words to make it right.<BR/><BR/>When I read your post I am angered that the U.S. can spend $12 billion a month on Bush and Hillary's Iraq war but we can't provide Federal dollars to find a cure or at very least, effective treatment for this terrible disease. Of course, caring for the American people has never been a top priority for this piss-ass government.<BR/><BR/>Now that the country is tottering under a $9 trillion dollar debt, safety nets like Medicaid and Medi-Cal are left to struggle with endless cutbacks from state governments and the Feds sure don't have the extras ca$h to make up the shortfall. Not with $12 billion a month going to Iraq.<BR/><BR/>People like your in-laws have really been at the receiving end of an unfair and short stick. There are no good solutions. Nothing makes sense any more and every thing seems out of control.Christopherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15788931352232874850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-85074459539240843132008-04-22T08:25:00.000-04:002008-04-22T08:25:00.000-04:00This is such a sad story and that is a frightening...This is such a sad story and that is a frightening disease.<BR/><BR/>Our government sends billions to other countries every year, yet they refuse to take care of those who become helpless.Larryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05283557503536810926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-82229107980777506022008-04-22T08:05:00.000-04:002008-04-22T08:05:00.000-04:00MG - I can't imagine how difficult a post this is ...MG - I can't imagine how difficult a post this is to write, much less be a part of this experience. If anything, it makes me thankful that my own aging parents are living with my older brother in your neck of the woods (NJ). I wish you the best.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-37728637293789013862008-04-22T07:57:00.001-04:002008-04-22T07:57:00.001-04:00Oh Mauigirl, this is heartbreaking at the personal...Oh Mauigirl, this is heartbreaking at the personal level for you and DH, and DH's father and mother. I am so sorry.<BR/><BR/>What have we wrought in this nation? It is evil I believe.<BR/><BR/>My thoughts are with you all.Franhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07181529277715646835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-4666107878005258352008-04-22T07:57:00.000-04:002008-04-22T07:57:00.000-04:00Kattie, so sorry, I should have said first of all,...Kattie, so sorry, I should have said first of all, I'm so very sorry about your mom and all you went through with her in the nursing home...Mauigirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15529827915262851910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-36139543727975942132008-04-22T07:56:00.000-04:002008-04-22T07:56:00.000-04:00John, thanks for your good wishes...it's always a ...John, thanks for your good wishes...it's always a hard decision.<BR/><BR/>Florinda, thanks for your thoughts as well - I appreciate it. We have been considering so many other possible options but this seems to be the only one.<BR/><BR/>Kattie, I hear you, and understand your concern - this is similar to what happened to my husband's grandmother. She was in the home for a couple of months and then fell and broke her hip - after she was operated on for it she never came back to even the level of cognizance she was before, and died not that long afterward.<BR/><BR/>There are many issues with trying to care for my mother-in-law at home, one of which, sadly, is my father-in-law's stubbornness - we had tried to get him to move up near us (they live an hour away) and into an apartment or condo all on one floor so as to make things easier for my mother-in-law to get around, and so we could help him out. He still refuses to move even now, so there was no possibility to have her live at home even if we could have afforded to hire all the care in the world - she is in a wheelchair and is not going to walk again.<BR/><BR/>If he continued to try to care for her at home it would have killed him - as it was he had lost ten pounds and then got sick himself. And he would have spent all of his remaining money hiring people and there would have been the stress of worrying about them taking proper care of her as well. <BR/><BR/>I know no nursing homes are perfect by any means but we did look at a lot of them and this one seems to do a good job. They do seem to tell us if something happens (such as the fall she took the other day). They diagnosed her urinary infection and got her to the hospital in time. <BR/><BR/>Best of all, my father-in-law is there almost all day - they can't get away with much as he calls them on any little thing they are forgetting to do or neglecting. And at least he doesn't have to try to get my mother-in-law to take a shower or get into bed and get yelled at and sworn at by her as this is how she reacts when anyone, even he, tries to get her to do something she doesn't want to do. <BR/><BR/>They can at least enjoy the time they have left together.<BR/><BR/>My father lived his last year or so in a nursing home as well - my 85 year-old mother couldn't care for him at home after he got up in the middle of the night and broke his leg. (He had Alzheimer's too). It wasn't ideal but it was the best thing for her, and he seemed to do all right there. He lived to be 93 and died of a combination of Alzheimer's and old age.Mauigirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15529827915262851910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-41084408942528329422008-04-22T04:10:00.000-04:002008-04-22T04:10:00.000-04:00Get her out of there. My mom was medicaid and we ...Get her out of there. My mom was medicaid and we took care of her for 2 1/2 years until a social worker suggested she go into a nursing home for help in walking. She only lasted FOUR months. They killed her. She fell twice, they always forgot to turn her oxagen on, then they gave her sespis and they never feed her. They never gave her water. It is a death senctence for the them. I live with this burden on my shoulders everday of my life. I cry all the time. I ask GOD why did I do this to her. It was only supposed to have been short term. They caused her foot to die. Then they wanted a feeding tube put into her stomach. Then they took her her to a hospital and was suppose to look at her foot and they went behind my back and put the feeding tube in and she had renal failure and they did nothing to save her life. She went through excurenating pain for 18 hours and finally some rude nurse came in with morphine and gave it to her through her tube and she left us in seconds.......... she died in my arms.....................I had no idea of what went on with her. They lie and keep secrets from families.. If I could do it all over again I would of never put her in a nursing home they are just death traps for them..........kattiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07762187133212324218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-2926086367728249202008-04-22T00:06:00.000-04:002008-04-22T00:06:00.000-04:00We went through this with my mother, including the...We went through this with my mother, including the whole Medicaid-qualification angle (which is ridiculous, but under current conditions, almost impossible for most people to avoid). And I agree that you can't know whether a nursing home is the "right" thing, but sometimes it really is the best of the bad options.<BR/><BR/>I'm sorry your family is going through this now.Florindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09789402061034734894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34240686.post-13493266856512695112008-04-21T23:47:00.000-04:002008-04-21T23:47:00.000-04:00I don't know if he is doing the right thing or not...I don't know if he is doing the right thing or not either, but my hopes go with you guys. <BR/><BR/>Take care.John J.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15113315088960432426noreply@blogger.com